A couple’s intimacy can be gauged by their ability to be emotionally and physically open. When couples are emotionally attuned they allow themselves to be vulnerable which in turn fosters a deeper level of intimacy. At the onset of a relationship couples are open to sharing their thoughts, feelings, beliefs and physical connections with their partner.
As time passes and children enter the picture the entire family system can become chaotic and destabilized. During this time couples tend to drift apart or turn away from each other which renders the couple emotionally un-attuned (spiritually, physically and emotionally). In our marriage intensives we strive to help couples understand the different stages of relationships and each other’s inner world relative to those stages and changes.
Emotional attunement is founded on each individual’s ability to communicate their feelings and needs to their partner. Emotional insecurity has its genesis from many factors (low self- esteem, childhood trauma, past rejections, and failed relationships). We strive to help support each of you in clarifying your thoughts and feelings.
Intimacy Substitution / Attachment
All too often intimacy is replaced with a substitute. The substitute can be of a sexual nature such as sexual infidelity, pornography, phone sex or chronic masturbation. The substitute / attachment can also be non-sexual in nature such as dependencies on children, work, food, gambling and the list goes on.
Understanding Plus Action Equals Change
Understanding the type of intimacy we want and need spiritually, physically, emotionally and sexually is often the result of a complex system of personal development throughout our life span. The ability to explore and talk about early experiences and beliefs, positive and negative (neutral as well) can help couples create more intimacy along with positive attitudes towards new beliefs, feelings, and behaviors.