Can you stay in love and find more love than ever before?
If love is a woman, this is how to make her stay, forever.
1. Love her fiercely.
Connection is key, vulnerability is bravery – so create safety for her at all times – and an open heart breaks down walls or brings back a flame that you thought was lost forever. We only get one shot at this life, this moment, and this relationship. If you’re blessed enough to find yourself waking up next to the same love over and over and over again, please don’t think of it as blandness. Choose creatively creating the love that works for you together.
If you find yourself getting too used to the monotony of your daily existence or if the routine is becoming too obscene, change something. Mix it up. Add some spice. Run off and have an adventure, even if it’s just down the road. Go and see something you’ve never seen, even if it’s just across the street. Go and do something you’ve never done, explore, be adventurous. Create new memories.
When you enter a room, let others notice that you notice her first. When you walk next to her, stop and kiss her neck for no good reason other than the fact that she is by your side. When she gets dressed in the morning, smile and appreciate that women are sexier getting dressed than they are getting undressed.
Respect her boundaries, but break down her walls. Crush her fears and free her mind. She’s yours, and it’s up to you to be hers. Be the hero she’s always wanted but never knew she needed.
Be a brazen inspiration. Be a bold revelation. Be a novel innovation. Earn her every day and appreciate her every night. Give her your heart and defend hers at all costs. Be a warrior for love armed with a quiver full of fervor, and love will forever follow you into the hunt.
“Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need.” ~Tom Robbins
2. Make her feel beautiful.
This one is pretty simple: Girls want to feel beautiful. Unfortunately, as you probably already recognize, women are bombarded each and every day with images from TV, magazines, Facebook and everywhere else in our culture trying to show them and sell them supposed beauty. They should look this way or that way. A woman has to have this color hair or that color eyes and has to be put together exactly like the images she sees of what beauty is supposed to be. Only when she wears a certain makeup or hair product or clothes or shoes, etc will she be beautiful.
That is completely false. And you as the man in her life knows what it is about her that is beautiful to you. Tell her. Convince her. Show her. Find 100 ways to let her know what you see in her. Women seem to feel that beauty comes from a bottle of makeup, or spending hours straightening her hair with or dressing up in high heels, or expensive jewels, or an overpriced dress but the truth is, you see her beauty inside and out in many ways.
Her open heart is beautiful. Her kindness is beautiful. Her vulnerability is beautiful. Her compassion, honesty, courage and confidence are the real beautiful things you love her for.
Help her to feel beautiful – say the words, show her in your action, spend time looking at her with affection and desire.
Make your girl feel beautiful. Compliment her soul. Look her in the eyes when you tell her you love her. Hold her hand. Melt her heart. Be her beacon. When she wakes up in the morning, tell her she looks great, and when she laughs or calls you crazy (and she will), mean it when you tell her that you mean it.
Stare into her eyes until she looks away first. Let her soar, and admire her in flight. Open her eyes, heart, hopes and dreams. Write her a note that says she makes you feel lucky, leave her a voicemail that says she makes you feel blessed and make her a card that says she makes you feel beautiful.
After all, beautiful things create beautiful things. So go ahead and be beautiful together, and love will stick around to watch.
“The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being.” ~ Tom Robbins
3. Make her feel safe.
Girls like being held. They like having arms wrapped around them, simultaneously holding them close and pushing the world away. They enjoy walking with someone that can connect with them, confiding in someone who cares for them and loving someone who adores them. She likes knowing that she is enough for you, that you are not looking elsewhere for replacements.
Girls want to matter, so let her feel comfortable speaking from her heart. When she does, listen. When you listen, understand (not just what is being said, but why).
When you understand, relate and remember. Become fluent in the language she speaks. Encourage her to be at her best by bringing out her best which requires you to bring your best to the table, but help her to look at things for what they are even if that means exposing the hard truths that she tries to avoid, the facts that she can no longer ignore.
Few experiences are more gratifying than EXPRESSING YOURSELF, saying something that is deep and personal and having it HEARD, RECEIVED and UNDERSTOOD by your partner. WE ALL NEED TO BE LISTENED TO AND UNDERSTOOD. Most of us grew up without enough focused attention (or touch). GIVING YOUR FOCUSED ATTENTION is one of the kindest, most LOVING things you can do WITH and FOR your partner.
It’s up to you to make her see that, ultimately, no one else will make her happy but her – and yur listening will help her get to that place of being content with her life and herself. It’s up to you to help her help herself. Encourage her. Understand her. Earn her trust and then keep making deposits, because helping a woman feel safe empowers her to do the things that her heart tells her they need to be done. Never discount what feeling safe with you means to the woman she is and can be when she feels safe.
When she is not worried about you or not being enough, or how the two of you are doing, she is free, an uncaged bird, and freedom is a wondrous feeling. Freedom means safety, safety is liberating, and liberation leads to fearlessness. She can just be more than she ever dreamed possible and it is because you are her biggest fan and behind her believing in her all the way.
Without fear, we can focus on the things that matter, the things that set our hearts alight, the dreams that only arise when we are awake.
Catalyzed by safety, dormant ideas awaken, embolden and enliven your lives. Lead with compassion, courage and honesty, love’s three greatest gifts, help ensure that your women is as safe and as strong as possible. Why is this important? Because strong women make men strong. And strong men can make love stay.
“When two people meet and fall in love, there’s a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it’s usually too late, we’ve used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.” ~ Tom Robbins
4. Make her feel important.
There’s a lot going on in the world and we are always on alert. We have to deal with jobs, laundry, stress, temptation, money, kids, family, friends and the future.
Distractions pervade. Opportunities proliferate. Obstacles present themselves. We have the internet in our pockets, a gleam in our eyes and no time on our hands. We’re often busy, occasionally stressed, and sometimes overwhelmed. We have much on our minds and to us, normal is nuts.
We have dreams and adventures ahead of us and sorrow and sacrifice behind and yet, through all of the drama and strife, the pains and the panics, the days and nights, love remains. She is there, next to you, urging you on, smiling, and wanting nothing but the best for you because she loves you, she cares about you, and she wants you to be happy.
She is your best friend, mentor and biggest fan all in one. Your life would be worse without her in it. You would miss her if she were gone. She is the best thing in your world. Don’t you ever lose sight of that, and love will have no chance to escape. You won her over by focusing on her and the magic between the two of you – don’t let life get in the way. Get back to the original plan where you let her know she was your world, is your world, and will always be your world. It takes minutes a day to let her know this. Send her a text for know reason. Bring her a rose. Complement her. Whisper in her ear. Breathe on the back of her neck. Smile at her. Look deep in those eyes for the answers. They are there.
Love is addicted to appreciation and awareness. Keep both in abundant supply and love will always be near. When you have a relationship that encompasses understanding and acceptance, you will reach the highest level of intimacy as a couple.
“My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.” ~Tom Robbins
5. Desire her and love her with a fiery passion.
Here’s the thing: Women love sex and they think about it all the time. Although they would probably never admit it, women love getting down and dirty between the sheets, fast and furious on the bathroom floor, and slow and comfortable up against a wall.
If you’re a woman, you’re probably smiling as you read this. I’m sorry, girls, but the secret is out. We know that you talk about sex with your friends, fantasize about foreplay when you’re alone, and dream about the dirty when you are bored at work. And that’s okay. It’s more than okay, in fact.
Sex is important and good for both of you. Just reaching for her hand, touching her arm, kissing her forehead can also do wonders. Your touch can heal her heart. Don’t forget to reach for her – if she withdraws, someting has hurt her deeply but you can turn that around with your touch. So, do your best to be your best, be her lover, her friend, her confidant, her healer . . . However, don’t forget that it’s far more than just physical touch that matters: let her hear the words too – speak to her heart, softly, passionately, letting her know your inner most thoughts and help pull her closer to you in body, mind, and spirit.
Be giving, with words and touch. Be intimate, with emotions and experience. Be thoughtful, with deeds and desires. Seduce her away from her distractions. Excite her.
“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” ~ Tom Robbins
6. Make her laugh.
Cyndi Lauper was right: Girls just want to have fun.
Have you ever seen a bunch of girls going absolutely buck wild on a dance floor? It’s a sensation, and fun is the feeling. Have you ever witnessed a group of girls laughing so hard that they’re snorting and crying and madly screeching right up close into each others faces? It’s a sanctuary, and fun is the preacher. Just notice how she is with her friends and you will know that she really does just want to have fun.
Life is serious and tough on us, and that’s a fact. We all know that sadness comes by to play hide and seek, sorrow randomly stops by for a drink, and occasionally, we get overwhelmed, annoyed, or infuriated. It happens. It’s unavoidable. It’s not her fault.
Being down does not make her a bad person, or a bad partner, or a pain in the ass. Being down does not make her heart any smaller or her beauty any less noticeable. Rather, being down is part of lifting up.
Help lift her up. Help make her see. Teach yourself the powerful and noble truth that here is nothing more beautiful than a smiling soul staring at you with love-filled eyes. Make her smile. Warm her heart. Be silly.
Life is far too serious to take seriously and sometimes the bravest thing you can do is laugh.
So do it, and do it often. Goof around. Be playful. Have fun. Locate your inner child and give him a high five. Find some grass and do some somersaults. Enjoy the ride and love will sit next to you, its head on your shoulder, smiling all the while, for where there is laughter, there is love.
“But do we know how to make love stay? I can’t even think about it. The best I can do is play it day by day.” ~ Tom Robbins
How do you make love stay?