Discover As Much As You Can About Each Other
In working with couples, I am aware that so many times there is such a disconnect with what your partner is trying to tell you and what you really hear. Just thinking about a recent client reminds me that her definition of a word is so different from her husbands. This will create real trouble in your relationship. First of all, you will never feel that your partner understands you. Over time those misunderstandings turn in to resentment. You could begin to feel as if the entire Grand canyon has come between the two of you. Here’s a simple process to help you from becoming worlds apart.
Whenever you are trying to be heard and understood on a certain topic, ask your spouse for their thoughts on what you just said. This gives you an opportunity to explain the way you look at things again. Then ask what they got from those words. Knowing their perspective is valuable to understanding your spouse. It keeps you close and connected.
Next, recognize the opportunity to gain insight into how your spouse feels about this issue. Ask questions such as – did your family always do things that way or Gee, I never thought about that way . . . keep processing this info so that you become closer and closer to understanding and accepting one another.
No one likes to be criticized for the way they think or the perspective they have on things.
Enjoy discovering as much as you can about each other. This one tip will bring you closer and more intimate every day.