There is no bigger relationship killer than the constant, incessant arguing that really doesn’t even solve any of the issues you are facing. If you are able to stop arguing with your partner and become a little more light-hearted towards some of your daily quirks and abnormalities then you will become much happier with your life. Some people struggle with this because they are natural arguers or enjoy debating every topic, while others just get offended too easy. For those who naturally like to argue or enjoy a good debate it will help you to stop arguing with your mate more than you will ever know. We all know that a healthy debate or argument can help solve issues or help you learn more about your partner, but if you stop arguing you will learn that you don’t need to learn about your partner in this manner. Instead of arguing make a point of understanding the other’s point of view and try it on for a few days. If you are one of the many who gets offended by remarks too easily and wind up arguing with your partner about every little thing it is time for you to stop arguing. If you stop arguing and just realize that your partner may not be purposely trying to offend you it may just change your life. By being able to stop arguing and learn from what they are pointing out to you it is possible you may just become a better person in the mean time.
Ways To Keep Love Alive
The everlasting question of will never accurately or absolutely be answered, but the question of how to stay in love can be answered somewhat simply if you just have the keep focused, determined, and stay motivated. You will be surprised that by putting your mind to it you begin to realize that the question of how to stay in love is answered simply as how to find new ways to love your partner. Every day we see something new about our partner and when you do, you respond in a new loving way. This is done by accomplishing the one thing that everlasting love is supposed to be about, perseverance – going the distance.
Last night I could tell that my husband had a rough day at work. He finished work only to come outside and see his tire was completely flat. That in and of itself was enough but the last thing that had happened at work had really made the tire being flat a real downer for lack of a better word. Fortunately, the prepared guy he is, he put a can of fix a flat in the tire and came home. I knew that he definitely needed for me to listen and care and – now if I am honest, it is usually the other way around. He knows that I feel loved and cherished when I am listened to attentively. So last night I listened and tried to really love his cares away. Anyway, today as soon as he had his shower, he went out side to check the tire- no coffee first – so I knew this was not the way the day needed to start for him. He is a coffee first kind of guy. I could tell that I needed to focus on helping him- loving him and addressing his biggest concern. I had to be patient and ready to get out the door to at a moment’s notice so as not to add to his distress. Just like you and your partner, we too are two different people and handle things quite differently. So you can ask yourself what your partner needs from you right now under the circumstances and give your love in that way. Do I always do this to the best of my ability – no- but today I really tried hard to be patient and understanding and accept how he was dealing with this. And guess what on the days you don’t get it right – just like me- you have a chance everyday to love them all over again in a new way. The point is your partner will remember those moments that you really tried to be loving and give to you. That is how to stay in love.
Our world today has perpetuated the myth that love happens at first sight and is very easy to maintain because it is some inborn passion that lives inside you forever. While love may initially introduce itself in this manner, how to stay in love is quite a different story. How to stay in love is rooted in the idea that you are never quite finished learning about each other and finding new ways to give and express your love. You see everyone experiences love in a different way. This is because you both have been raised by different families and loved in different ways that became comfortable to you. You have both experienced life in different ways. You have also had previous relationships that also impact your love. The best way to stay in love is to stay curious about each other. Learning about your partner, learning about your relationship and learning about what you are about and what you need in the way of love. How do you feel and experience love? Teach your partner how to love you and have your partner teach you how to love them. In the way, you will get it right and know just how to stay in love, forever.
Do you remember how long and hard it was to find your true love and complete the road to marriage? Will it will be much longer and harder to stay that way? If you were hoping to find the long lost secret that can be done overnight think about this – the secret to great love is to both discover new ways of giving love to each other and making sure that you love in the way that each of you feels and experiences that love .
This is what makes love worth it, the payoff in the end. Knowing that how to stay in love is something that you can do together for each other, you should be encouraged to know that you will never be disappointed, and you will keep your everlasting love alive.
If you are worried about making your relationship work and you don’t know what else to do you likely just need to focus on one thing, communication. If you do not have a good amount of communication in your relationship then your relationship is likely on the brink of disaster. The aspect of communication that is likely to be missing in your relationship is actually listening. Asking questions. Getting a feel for what the love of your life is going through every day. It is important to note that the average couple communicates on average ONLY 12 minutes a day. This includes all forms of communication like texting, email, cell phones, etc. No wonder you can drift apart. You can turn this all around. Think back to the days when you talked all night long. Find a happy medium where you are listening and interested in each other’s lives every day.
What are the three main things that kill communication in a relationship?
1. Stress at work kills the communication level of a relationship because the person being stressed at work shuts down and the other person gets frustrated. Say you are getting stressed out at work and come home with the “don’t talk to me” attitude, your spouse gets angry and before you know it insults are being exchanged.
2. Infidelity, or the appearance of infidelity, is a great communication killer due to the effect it has on the pride of both partners. The person being accused of infidelity will become tired of being accused and get frustrated, while the person doing the accusing begins to feel alienated and embarrassed.
3. Disagreement over having kids will kill the communication in a relationship and make it seem as if partners are on opposite sides of the world. If you want a baby and your partner does not, it will make your communication suffer and eventually could end your relationship. Remember that your partner has a completely different perspective on a situation as you do. Don’t take offense to that . It is a different way of looking at things as you do. Open up the communication with asking about the way they look at having children, for instance, then really listen with an open heart and mind. The give back your perspective on the subject. Do not attack the way your partner looked at that subject just speak from your perspective only. Then ask what they think would be best for the two of you. Then give your input as to what would be best for the relationship. That way you have both been heard. The communication is open and the focus is on the subject not the words where you feel defensive or unheard.
What do you think?
Did you ever notice how happy your dog is to see you at the end of the day? For that matter, try an experiment and just walk out the door and come back in after a couple of moments and you will get the same response. Your dog will greet you with such joy and excitement. Your dog will spin around, wag its tails, and even jump up just to get your attention. I know that I can learn a lot from my dog. Well, he is actually a puppy…an early Christmas present from my son. The puppy is full of happiness and is very affectionate. The experience has helped me to remember how important it is to greet your spouse with such enthusiasm at the end of the day. What I mean by that is that take the time to greet your spouse at the door with a smile and kind word. Hold off on telling all the daily events until you take a few moments to embrace and welcome each other back home. You would be amazed at what a smile does for someone walking in the door with the words “I missed you, today.” It will change everything about the rest of the evening and besides the daily worries will still be there but the way you are able to face them will be forever changed.
What rituals do you incorporate in your marriage?
The Power Of Love!
Love is such a powerful force. You do things in the name of love that you could have never imagined. Love grows and lives in your heart. On the other side of your way of thinking, in terms of the one you love, there is the day to day living that causes frustration. Remember that when you first came together you each focused on each other blocking day to day life out. You could not wait for the day to get to a point so that the two of you could be alone together. As time goes by, you get more comfortable and allow more of the day to day life to become the focus. The problem with that is that it becomes less and less about the person you love. Today start making it about the love of your life. Make them feel your love. Express it. Show them. Try it again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes apart of your day. This one step will change everything in your relationship. It will be just like finding the missing piece of the puzzle that makes love last with passion and excitement. Believe in the power of your love. I know I do.
What are your thoughts?