Before Your Relationship Breaks Up . . .
Be Sure That You Do Everything You Can To Save Your Marriage
Well the good news is that there are steps you can take right now to save your relationship as long as you can push all the doubts and fears within yourself aside.
First of all consider what you think might be wrong. What has caused you to think a break up is in the cards? Do you suspect your partner of cheating? Do you feel an emotional distance between you and your partner? Or have you been arguing a lot more than you normal for the two of you and you really don’t know why? Have you stopped making each other a priority?
Finding the answers to these questions and others that fit your particular situation, is key at this point. Once you start asking the right questions, then you have a really strong chance of saving your relationship before a break up happens and things get damaged beyond repair. Once you see clearly what has happened, you will have the insight to not blame your spouse and take immediate, calm and consistent action.
Step two is about changing what is unhealthy and damaging to your relationship and managing your own thoughts about the possibility of a break up. Believe that you can change things. You can change how you have shown up in the relationship and you can begin to rebuild the connection.
For example, are you making enough quality time for your relationship? Because without a doubt, this is often the number one reason that couples separate and break up. If you don’t make time for your relationship an emotional distance distance will happen between you and your partner and before you know it, that space which you normally fill, will now be filled by someone else or something else. It’s always important to have the two of you be the priority, even if you have kids. making time for each other keeps you focused on the relationship and each other, connected and close.
Another example of what can happen is you have a pattern finding fault in everything that your partner does or being too critical. This is really a classic sign of dissatisfaction with your life. Whatever you feel isn’t working: career, finances, your relationships and even how you feel about yourself, can lead you to take out your dissatisfaction with yourself on your other half. If there is something that is wrong in your life, sort it out. Before a relationship break up happens, stop and think about how you come across – loving and accepting or unhappy and critical.
If you have genuine reasons to be upset with your partner, then make sure you strike a balance between concern and criticism. No one likes to be told what they’re doing wrong 24/7! Don’t focus on the minor wrongs, that way when there is something really important that you find unacceptable, then you can bring it up safe in the knowledge that it’s not just a long line of what you consider to be your partner’s wrongs! Stay focused on what is happening to you – your feelings and emotions and not your spouses. That will open things up and clear the air and definitely prevent a break up.
The final step is to make sure you clear the air about things on your spouses mind and just listen to understand allowing your spouse to feel heard. Above all, before your relationship gets worse, make sure that you sit down with your partner and talk openly about your fears and concerns. The average couple talks to each other 12 minutes a day and if you have children, it can be five minutes tops – and that includes all forms of communication like texting, phone call, face to face conversations, and at night when you are alone. Whatever you do don’t avoid and don’t pretend everything is all right for you. You never know it could very well be the cae that your spouse has also noticed too and cares deeply about your overall happiness.
The key here is to take the correct consistent action on turning things around so you don’t get to the point where one of you is considering a break up.