He Loves Me . . . He Loves Me Not
(Submitted by a client)
Have you ever had fear of the unknown in your relationship?
I certainly have. It has been too long since I have written. I have been lucky enough to spend some time at home for the past couple weeks visiting with good friends that I don’t have the opportunity to see very often. But guess what – even though I was away visiting, I was keenly aware that I had brought with me fear of the unknown about my own relationship.
A week ago today I was informed that my love and best friend has done the worst thing that would have brought me to a place of fear of the unknown in my relationship.
I found out he has moved his belongings out of our apartment. He has done this without telling me and I now know that there is an emptiness waiting for me when I return. How could he have been so cowardly? How could he not have respected me enough to do this when I was present. Was this what he thought would be easier? Easier for whom? Him? No matter what breakups are painful and bring about fear of the unknown in your relationship.
He has been my best friend for 11 years, we have shared our thoughts day after day. There has never been anyone that I have trusted so deeply. This news is the worst that I could have ever expected to happen to me. Is the fact that I have worried on and off for most of my life that this would someday happen to me the reason that it actually has? Did I bring this upon myself with my thoughts and worries? What do you do now when fear of the unknown in your relationship is so intense and painful?
I have struggled this week to keep it together. The tears come easily and often and I don’t know how to stop them. What is making me cry? I fear the unknown in my relationship; what is going to take place in the coming months, are we going to be able to repair this relationship that I value more than anything in the world and is so terribly damaged right now? My fear is crippling me and I must take action to stop it! I can not continue down my path in a state of fear and anxiety. I must embrace the world around me and continue to better myself. I can not be loved by others if I am not loving towards myself.