Focus on what you each need to feel loved – you will be making love last.
There are numerous ideas about making love last. Some say it is spending time together. Others say it is great communication. Still others feel that it is complete acceptance and understanding the differences in each other.
What I know to be true is that it takes a combination of trying new concepts and through trial and error, you find exactly what works for your relationship. If you are a person that needs space once in a while, then for you it’s making sure that you share that need with your partner so they are aware that you have to be alone once in a while.
If you need romance and connection, it is important to make sure that the love of your life understands what that does for you. What are your needs? Really think about this. I work with so many couples that never discuss what their needs are and it always ends up creating ongoing issues within their relationship. I can’t stress enough how important it is to know what you need from a relationship – what makes you feel loved.
My husband is a reader. He loves to have personal time to unwind by losing himself in a book every night. I felt left out and alone for a long time. He felt frustrated and annoyed as I would join him and try to engage in conversation. A big clue should have been the one word answers but I was trying to get my need met and missed the point about his need. The point is that this is something that he needs to center himself. For me, it is working in the yard or sitting on the sand listening to the sound the waves make as they hit the shoreline.
Whether it’s reading, the beach, working out, taking a walk, listening to music, golfing, and so on, we have to make sure that our partner understands our needs. That is caring for your relationship too and is a key ingredient in making love last.
In order to make love last in your relationship – know it’s not as hard as it seems- it only took me a couple of years to figure out that I was defeating the whole purpose of my husband’s needs… you won’t take that long to figure it out. I’m going to teach you how to know what your spouse needs from you to feel loved and then to go a step further by teaching your spouse to meet your needs too.
Your relationship is a growing, living thing as I see it. As long as you focus on the relationship and keep it growing, it will continue to thrive. Ignore the relationship and focus on things outside of it, and it will die. If you think about it the reason that it stated to blossom and grow in the beginning is that you put your entire focus on the other person. Keep this point in the back of your mind. When you feel as if you are drifting apart, turn your attention back to the relationship and the one you love. Always ask the questions – What would love do or say everyday? What can I do to make our love grow and evolve? What is my part in making our love last?